Place of Refuge (Bellatrix Black)

A new year. Bellatrix Black could almost feel the excitement coursing through her veins every time that she thought about it. This was her year. Her time to shine. She had been at the Back to School Feast earlier, but she had felt as if something was missing. She couldn’t figure out what it was, but was left to only ascertain that it was the feeling of the wind beneath her feet that the pitch offered her. She had spent all summer preparing for this moment; the moment that she had snagged the Slytherin Captain’s post. She moved through the castle with ease, having taken her months to learn when and where it was easiest to sneak out, and, when she had finally reached the out of doors, she threw her broom and bag to the ground and lifted the palms of her hand to greet the pale moonlight. It was a beautiful evening for practicing; getting back out there where she belonged. He fingertips reached up and pulled her hair into a loose bun, allowing some of the shorter strands to fall freely around her face, and secured it with the elastic that was around her wrist. It was only then that she picked up her Quidditch baggage and began moving toward the pitch.

By the time she reached the corridor that led to the changing room, Bellatrix realized that she had practically been skipping down the grassy hill. ‘Skipping? Honestly, love. Pull yourself together,’ She thought gravely as she moved toward the changing quarters. It was then that it struck her. Some of the torches leading the way were lit, ”Well, well, well,” She thought as she took another couple of steps forward. She leaned down and put her bag and broom on the floor again, making sure that they wouldn’t alert anyone to her presence. It appeared that whoever it was had lit all the torches leading to the Slytherin locker room, which was a dead giveaway to someone that was mildly observant like Bella. Either someone was out late and pranking the Slytherins - to this person, she would give a stern Prefect’s detention and perhaps even dock a few points - or it was a Slytherin them-self already intent on practicing - and to this person, she wasn’t sure what she would do....perhaps give them a beating on the pitch. That would teach them to sneak out and not invite her along for the adventure.

Sliding against the wall, she saw that the locker room was dark except for one torch that had been lit, ‘Perfect,’ She thought as she used her foot to kick open the door. It swung open with ease and she slipped inside, still pressing her back against the opposite wall. It was then that she saw him. Zeke Maxwell. He looked like a lost puppy in the middle of the room, his eyes still trained on the door as if he was actually going to get a glimpse of her. His voice rung out in the darkness; commanding like it normally was, and Bellatrix had to stifle a snicker. Zeke always thought that he was so powerful...he was always playing the power-hungry kind of guy. But she figured that it was just an act. There was no way that was the person that he actually was.

”It’s a ghost.” She whispered into the darkness and then laughed loudly. She knew that this would probably give her away - her laugh was a distinct crackling - but she thought that she would be good-natured and actually offer him another hint, ”It’s your worst nightmare, Maxi-pad.” It was only then that she stepped out of the shadows and folded her arms across her chest, ”You’re out after hours.” She raised both of her eyebrows in his direction, curious to see what he had to offer in his defense.

The recognition was there, whether it was from the laughter or nickname, Bella never would be able to tell, but as it were, Zeke knew who it was that had found him tonight. Bellatrix watched him roll his eyes and then raised both of her eyebrows in his direction, feeling slightly off-put. It seemed as if someone was having an off evening; Zeke knew better than to be sassy with Bella. She tightened her arms across her chest when he started throwing questions and accusations in her face, ”Well this is an interesting turn of events...Zeke Maxwell, not in the mood,” The last part of the sentence was dripping in Bellatrix worthy sarcasm, ”But who said I was here to play, Maxi? If my memory serves me correctly, I’m a Prefect and have every right to be out after hours. Unlike some people,” She growled, growing ever more annoyed with her pitch-mate. She hadn’t realized that over the summer he had grown so...fiery. She had to say that she was both annoyed and intrigued. ‘What’s got him all worked up?’ She thought to herself as she took another couple of steps forward so that she could watch him carefully.

His tone of voice was slightly darker than she had expected, yet again. It was almost as if wasn’t in control of his emotions, ”Boredom. Seen it once, seen it a million times,” She said as she unfolded her arms. She looked down and began admiring her perfectly-manicured nails. It was a wonder that she had managed to keep them looking so good for so long. Then again, it was amazing what magic could do. She smiled at the very thought. The first years that they were hazing this evening were unbearably uninteresting; each one the same as the next. They were subordinate, which made things all the less entertaining seeing as when Bella demanded that they take another shot of firewhiskey, they did so without so much as putting up a fight. She appreciated that they were already willing to listen to her, but there was something so much more fun about the struggle. She liked to watch people break right in front of her eyes. So she had left and sought her thrills somewhere else. Not that she would ever admit this to anyone, of course.

She was about to say something else, but he turned around and stared at her, causing her to immediately close her mouth. There was something in his eyes that she hadn’t seen before. She wasn’t sure what to say to him in that moment, so she narrowed her eyes. Something was up with him and she was going to find out what it was. Instead of answering him, she sat down on the bench in the middle of the room, throwing one of her legs over it so that she was straddling it. With that, she laid back and turned so that she was staring at Zeke from down there. He kept stuffing things into the locker and then finally his broom. With that, he turned once again to her and all but scolded her. She bit down on her lip, trying her best not to laugh, but it appeared as if she had found someone that was already quite broken to play with for the evening. If Zeke kept up his poor little unfortunate him act, she was going to have quite the enjoyable evening after all. She stared at him for a long time, ”Are you in the mood now?” She asked, trying not to cackle at him as she did, ”And-” She paused and put her hands above her head as she thought, ”How about now?”

Bella’s mouth fell open in surprise, ”Wow, Maxwell. Someone’s gained some confidence over the summer. Think you’re the top dog now, eh?” She practically muttered as she pushed a tendril of hair behind her right ear. She couldn’t believe him. Sure, it was one thing when they were taking digs at each other for all fun and games, but she sensed that there was something else going on here. He was being rude and she wasn’t going to have any of it, not from him. Especially not with what he was saying about the team being against her. She knew that it was difficult for a Beater to become Captain, but she had done it...She had secured the spot. Most people thought that Beaters were idiots with one desire: Hitting things, but that was far from Bella’s mind. It was all about strategy. Using the bludgers to her team’s advantage. Her securing the Captain’s spot had to do with her dedication and ‘inspired playing’ as the letter had read. Maybe if Zeke had put a little more effort into what he was doing, he wouldn’t be stuck listening to her, ”Trust me, half the bloody team isn’t pissed. They’re glad.” Her tone had sunk into the icy abyss, every word coming out more dangerous than the next as she let some of her anger get the best of her, ”You have a temper. You’re unpredictable. And most of all, you don’t play for the team. You play for yourself. That’s why you don’t have a shiny badge to your name, Maxi-Pad. As for your detention-” She glared at him, her green eye lighting up with anger, ”You’re right. I can’t afford to have more points docked from Slytherin because of your stupidity.”

”No, that’s idiotic,” Bella said as she rolled her eyes at Zeke. Sure, the hazing of the younglings might have been fun, but it was no where near what Christmas was like for her around the Black Household, ”For Christmas my parents give me a house elf to torture every year. So, really, Christmas is like Christmas.” Her eyes flashed darkly as she grinned wickedly in Zeke’s direction. She knew that she was lying through her teeth (Her parents would never have fueled her devious desires; they wanted her to settle down and become the pureblood housewife that she was supposed to be), but she couldn’t help it. It was just in her nature. She wanted everyone to see her as the big bad wolf, because one day, that was who she was going to be. She was going to destroy the muggles from the inside out and make their little world crumble into a million pieces. She smiled at the thought, the very idea filling her with a strange-quality euphoria.

”C’mon, Maxi!” Bellatrix said as he informed her, rather starkly that he still was not in the mood. She wanted someone to toss insults at, and the way that he was being right now, was not going to fly. But she watched him carefully, watched the way that his eyes moved across her body. She wanted to pull out her wand and hex the living daylights out of him, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Attention was attention, no matter who it was from. Listening to him fling her apparent cheating into her face, she could only smirk in his general direction. He was obviously still bitter about the whole thing. In all honesty, it had been a sham of a relationship from the very beginning. For one, Bella had been engaged to Rod Lestrange for years now, so they both knew it wasn’t going anywhere. They were just two friends having a good time. In Zeke’s mind, she was sure that it appeared to be more, but she knew the truth. Reaching for her elastic in her hair, she pulled it free and let her long black hair cascade down over the bench and then winked at Zeke, ”Ravenclaw,” She answered with a Bellatrix-like conviction as only she could, ”Gryffindork’s Captain is Potter and I’m not having any of that, trust me. And the Hufflesluts have been tainted with idiocracy. No, I’d much rather have a Ravengeek.” She ran her hands through her hair and then smirked over at him, ”I do wish you’d get over that. It was after all, an entire year ago.”

Bella wanted to smack him. Leave it to Zeke to find away around everything that she was saying. She knew for a fact that even though he had led the team through shots and scores, there was no way that he was fit to lead all of them. He was too caught up in himself. Bellatrix knew how to recognize someone who was entirely too caught up in their own interests, they had this look in their eyes...one that she had seen reflected in her own mirror countless times. But when it came to the pitch, she was different. She wanted to win - she needed to win - for her own sake. She loved Quidditch more than anything in the world, and although she wouldn’t ever admit it to Zeke, having the captain’s spot had saved her from going all but insane. The more that he talked, the more that she could sense that he was angry with her, and the more that she fed on it. She was like a moth to flame when it came to other people’s anger. She could almost feel herself leaning forward in anticipation, waiting for the next lethal sentence to fall off of his lips and when it did, she was prepared, ”Loving to watch someone play is a far cry from thinking that they deserve to be head of the team. For all you know, I could have enjoyed watching you play because you look like an awkward flamingo perched on a broomstick,” Her tone was even and controlled, despite the fact that she wanted to rip his throat out for throwing their previous relationship back in to her face. She hated remembering what they had had.

She could practically feel the static electricity between them. As if he was angry enough to send pulsations through the air. She wanted to laugh. She wanted to laugh in Zeke’s face. He was being pathetic. What he needed to do was get a handle on his emotions. It was then that it struck her. He would have never been that angry if it had just been her. Something else had to have been going on. She raised her eyebrows in his direction, the smile on the corner of her lips beginning to grow a little larger. Then she looked down at her nails and pretended to be disinterested in him all together, knowing that that would really get him fired up. If she paid him no attention all together, he was going to get even more mad. He would eventually break and she would see it all crumble; the thought enticed her.

She could see the reaction in his physicality, the way that he moved as soon as she flashed a wink in his direction, but she was having a hard time putting it all together. Was Zeke really upset that she had been flirting with another man? Honestly? Her fingers pulled some of her hair apart from the rest and then began braiding it, only half listening to what he said, ”I suppose it does come as a bit of a surprise considering I was sleeping with half the team the whole time that we were together, Maxi-pad.” Bella lied through her teeth as she continued to braid down her dark hair. She didn’t know why she wanted to push his buttons, maybe it was her need to destroy other people. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she wanted to make him fall from his seat of grace and see him crumble in her hands like a rock being ground into fine powder. She wanted to break Zeke Maxwell and she knew that she eventually would. She was sick...she was entirely too sick for words.

”Good. Unfortunately, you had to learn the lesson the hard way,” She let the braid that she had been playing with go and turned her attention to the ceiling, still trying her best to pay him no attention. She wasn’t sure what her intentions were this evening, but she knew that she was already having fun playing mind games with her ex-flame. She could feel his eyes on her and she turned her face slightly so that her green eyes met him, ”Don’t look too long or I’ll start to charge, Maxi-pad.” She breathed and then blew him the subtlest of kisses, one that he would have missed had it not been for them being locked in intense eye-contact.

It was then that Zeke pulled out the cigarettes and Bella felt her entire face snarl up, ”What’re those.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement of disgust. She knew that they were the muggle cancer sticks or whatever they called them. She didn’t understand and in that moment, she wanted them. She wanted to take them away from him and destroy them. They were...dirty. They were disgusting. They were for muggles, ”I see how it is. I break your tiny little heart and you go all gung-ho muggle! How’s that working out for you, blood traitor?” She could feel her anger boiling over faster than she could stop it. Muggle anything made her see red.

Bellatrix knew what Zeke was doing; she had seen him do it hundreds of times. It was his own little way of having a temper tantrum. He would say that he wasn’t going to do something until Bella did something that he wanted. It was a power play between the two of them, one that she had grown more and more annoyed with over the years. She wanted to roll her eyes and smack him across the back of the head: he knew better than trying to make this work against her, ”If you don’t go out for the team, I will find an adequate replacement. One which - unlike you - with have a sense of team and loyalty to me,” She growled and narrowed her eyes. Of course, she was bluffing. But she figured that so was he. There was no way that she could find and train someone to be as good as Zeke in only a few days. It was nearly impossible. Try-outs were going to happen faster than any of them could fully-comprehend and Bella needed the best team that she could put out there. Unfortunately for her, she knew that meant Zeke and toying with him like this was probably going to get her no where fast. That being said, she also knew that she wouldn’t back down...not yet. Not until he cracked first. She had to show him that she was the one with the power, not him...only then could she trust him on the Pitch.

Bellatrix watched him carefully and that was when she knew. She watched his face crumble as if she had smashed a mirror and let all the pieces fall to the ground. She had done it. He tried to cover it by putting on a blank mask, but Bellatrix had seen the look. She had seen the hurt in his eyes. She had seen his spirit break right in front of her. All it took was one simple little lie and she had won. And yet, she thought that victory would taste so much sweeter. She thought that she would feel something...but the very pit of her black heart seemed to do nothing more than beat on as normal. She sat up, her eyes still locked on his, until she realized that he had looked down. It took her by surprise. He had looked away from her. Her brows came together in a confused look the longer that she stared at him. He began taking the things out of his locker and putting them back into the bag and she felt her confusion grow, ”What are you doing?” She asked, swinging her leg over the bench and standing up. But she already knew the answer to her own question; he was trying to leave. He was going to get the hell out of here because he thought that she had scorned him even more. ‘Damn Bells, looks like your plan backfired,’ She mentally growled at herself. She crossed to his locker and slammed the door shut, almost catching his fingers in the whole mess. She wasn’t going to let him just pack up and leave - as he so desperately wanted to. She leaned against the door so that there was no way that he could possibly open it, ”Give me the duffle, Maxi-pad.” She said holding out her hand. She was going to put it back into the locker and forbid him from leaving if it was the last thing that she did, ”I said give it.”

Practically smoking in her face, Bellatrix wanted to throw up. It was a disgusting habit, and it was muggle related. The very idea of Zeke doing something like that was repulsive to her...and yet here he stood, in front of her...smoking away, ”I serve no one but myself,” She countered and then leaned back against his locker, still staring at him. She could see that he was angry. She could almost feel the hurt that was radiating from him. Then he brought up Rodolphus. She felt her lips curl into a grimace at the very thought. Rod had a bit of a history of being a bloody womanizer, and Bella was very protective over him, which led to awful things for the girls that dared go near him, ”You shut up.” Bella muttered narrowing her eyes as she stared at him, ”You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sure, it was just an arranged marriage, there was no real feeling there, but she wouldn’t have Maxwell going around spreading vicious rumors about Rod. She wouldn’t have it, not in a million years. She could see that it was a last ditch effort on Zeke’s part, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

With the very idea of hurt on her mind, she moved a few steps forward so that she and Zeke were face to face. She could feel the heat from the butt of his cigarette near her face, but she didn’t care. He could burn her if he wanted and she would still do what she was about to. She reached up and took the cigarette from his mouth, holding it between her fingers and staring at it with interest. Such a stupid muggle invention. Her attention was soon diverted by Zeke. Her green eyes met his and for moment, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. For a second, she felt the phantom flame of what they once had. The fun that they had shared, the way that they constantly tormented everyone else around them. They had been good together, for what it was worth. But, it was in that moment that Bella took the cigarette and slammed the butt into Zeke’s arm, listening as it sizzled his skin, then she bit down on his lip as hard as she could, not allowing him to escape until she finally relented, ”Don’t you ever say another word about Rod and the halfblood again.” She dropped the cigarette and stared at him, her eyes wild and dangerous, her heart beating out of control in her chest, her eyes still searing into his.

Bellatrix raised both of her eyebrows at his little show. It appeared as if Zeke was escalating his tantrum by throwing his gloves down. Bella briefly wondered what he would throw next. ‘His broom, perhaps? Oh, maybe he’ll try and throw the whole set of lockers!’ She thought with giddy excitement as she watched him. She could see the beginnings of a tear within him; he was starting to break right before her eyes. All she had to do was tear down more walls and make him doubt everything. He even looked...out of breath, the way that he was exerting himself. Tempted to laugh, Bella bit down on her lip, tucking it under her teeth so that she wouldn’t. There was a time and place for laughter, but in order for her to win, she had to maintain her seriousness, ”I was talking about the pitch. But apparently you’re talking about something entirely different,” She mumbled as she stared at him, her green eyes scanning his face. Yes, she could see what appeared to be an almost broken man. A man that had probably once loved her but now couldn’t stand anything that came out of her mouth. She stared into his eyes and then opened her mouth deliberately slow, making sure to draw out the words for as long as she could, ”Were you ever really loyal to me, Maxi-pad?” She said, questioning his loyalty without fail. He shouldn’t have baited her; he had to know that it was impossible for her to walk away from someone telling her not to do something.

She was surprised by the lack-luster tone of his voice; the way that he seemed to be crumbling. She could push him further, she knew that she could; but she also wasn’t sure if she wanted to. She had never seen Zeke like this before, so...down. Sure, it was fun to break the first years and see them become subservient to her, but watching it happen to Zeke? It was like she was losing something very important to her. She wondered if he could see the confusion written on her face; the way that her brows contracted together as she assessed his bright blue eyes, ”You’re coming back to the team.” She said matter-of-factly. She knew that he was going to argue with her, the look in his eyes told her so, ”It’s not a request. It’s an order.” Her voice had lost some of the edge that it had previously held, but it still seemed to be seething. She sensed that he was getting emotion and wanted to smack him across the back of the head. Now was not the time for him to let himself lose it. He informed her that she had won and broken him and she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up. He started to turn away and she reached out to grab his hand, pulling him back so that he was facing her yet again. She scanned his face, looking for something, anything to tell her that she hadn’t completely destroyed him on her little rampage.

She had expected him to yelp. To cringe. To do something. But Zeke Maxwell barely reacted when she burned him. Instead, he placed his hand over the burn and stared at her, trying to figure out what she was up to. In all honesty, she wasn’t even sure. Why had she kissed him in the first place? It had been a distraction technique, one that had worked quite nicely, but as soon as she had done it, she had felt something again. Something other than the darkness that she had been feeling lately. She hadn’t expected him to say anything else...she had anticipated him running out of the room and never looking back. But there he was, standing there, running his mouth about things that he didn’t understand.

Bells wasn’t sure what to say to him; her heart was beating uncommonly fast and her lips curled up into a snarl. ‘How dare he?’ She thought with venomous anger, ”Stop,” She muttered with about as much conviction as she could muster. She narrowed her eyes as she stared at him. They were still standing close to each other, so she could see his emotions written across his eyes. Instead of lashing out - because she knew full-well that that would only egg him on more - she put her finger up to his lips, trying to silence him that way. She wasn’t sure if he would be quiet or if it was all in vain, ”Maxwell-” She felt remorseful for what she had done to him which was a new feeling for her. Her body was instructing her to hug him...and she never gave physical affection. But she kept herself at bay, her finger tracing the outline of his lips instinctively.

Bellatrix found herself momentarily unable to stop what she was doing. She had missed Zeke, that much was for certain, but there was something else there. She was so angry at him, deep down, for what he had been thinking about her. She had never once cheated on him; she had simply been flirting and she couldn’t help that. Everyone in Slytherin knew that Bella could be a flirt - a psychotic flirt - but a flirt just the same. She ran her finger over Zeke’s top lip and then up his jaw-line, then she dropped her hand completely. It appeared as if he wasn’t going to speak, until a half-hearted ‘Why’ managed to escape his parted lips. Her first instinct urged her to tell him because she said so, but her next instinct was far different. She could see the hurt in his eyes and she wondered what it felt like to be broken like that; did it feel the way that she felt when her father cursed her and verbally assaulted her? Was she really any better than her father? The very thought immobilized her. For a moment, Bella felt like her insides had frozen over. She felt like no blood was moving in her body, but more importantly, she felt like she was getting no oxygen to her brain. It was then that she realized she had forgotten to breathe. She sucked in a deep breath of air and took an instinctive step away from Zeke, still staring at him.

”You’re staying on the team, Ma-” Her voice trembled and Bellatrix felt as if she was showing more weakness than she ever had shown in her life. She felt like at any moment, her father was going to burst from the door and beat her down, tell her how he demanded her to be stronger than this. And yet, the doors remained close and the silence settled between Zeke and Bellatrix for a small moment in time, ”Zeke,” His name hung there for a few moments as if the entire world seemed to stop. It was then that she realized he was still holding his hand over his arm from where she had burned him. She turned around, happy to break eye-contact and threw open the locker that had the captain’s emblem on it. She dug around in the duffle that was at the bottom of the locker until she found a smile potion vile.

Standing there in front of her locker, Bells stared down at the vile. It wouldn’t fix what she had done to him - well, it might physically, but emotionally was an entirely different story. She turned the vile over in her hand, watching as the liquid moved from one side to the other. Her thoughts wandered for a brief period of time, remembering the way that Zeke had laughed every time that they had been practicing together. The way that he had once told her all of his secrets. The way that he would find her on her worst of days, push her hair behind her shoulder and tell her that everything was going to be fine. ‘You’re going weak,’ She reminded herself as she turned around slowly, ‘Then again, you’ve always had a weakness for this one.’ She didn’t say anything to him, but moved to his arm and examined the burn. She had got him pretty good. Opening the vile with her teeth, she let the liquid drip out and heard a sizzling sound. She knew that it was going to burn, but hadn’t felt the need to warn him; she was - after all - doing him a favor. When the liquid had seemingly clotted on his arm, Bella took a step back and re-capped the vile. The burn would heal with no permanent scarring and it would hurt any more after this. She knew that it wasn’t an apology, but it was the closest that Bellatrix Black came to saying that she was sorry for something.

She coughed lightly and then threw the potion back into her duffle and slowly closed the door to the captain’s locker. This entire situation was a mess and she knew it; she wasn’t even sure how to handle what was going on, ”You should just tell people you got mauled by a rabid bear-” She said as she nodded toward the foaming, clotted white potion that was sitting on his arm, ”I’m sure they’ll believe it, too,” It wasn’t the first time that she had hurt him. In all honesty, it probably wouldn’t be the last. She was a sick woman, Bellatrix Black. After that, she was silent, her back pressed up against the closed lockers, her eyes turned toward the torches that were on the wall. She refused to look at him; having just shown him that she did, indeed, still have feelings for him.