I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda]

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Dec 29, 2012 1:33:26 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2012 1:33:26 GMT -8

Theodore Tonks had lost his glasses again. Or perhaps they’d been stolen. The latter remained to be seen.

There was no one else in the library except for himself, so Ted felt no shame in hunkering down on his hands and knees to scour the ground for his glasses. Lucky for him, Hogwarts was generally well-kept. Presently he crouched underneath a desk in one of the many study corners of the library. With difficulty, he squinted his eyes as if doing so would magically give him a momentary bout of perfect eyesight. What made looking for lost glasses particularly annoying was the lack of actually being able to see. His world, for the past thirty minutes or so, was a daze indistinguishable bookshelves and blurry colors blending into one another. The overhanging shadows in the various corners of the library added to the already difficult task.

Ted had been a Hogwarts tutor since his third year, which was the earliest year a student could even become a tutor. He had signed up readily, determined to help out those with lesser study habits. Now in his seventh year, Ted humbly considered himself an expert. He found there were few students he couldn’t help push through their lethargy and confusion. Naturally patient and kind-hearted, Ted really made the perfect tutor. Many of his Ravenclaw peers, although smart, were simply not made for teaching. They were frequently too wrapped up in their pretension and were quick to make their student feel stupid or incompetent should they be confused or get the answer wrong. Although Ted’s greatest desire was to become an auror, he was well-aware that a practical back-up career would be one as a professor; there was nothing more fulfilling than helping a student reach their potential. Look at him, he already sounded like an academic poster, filled with encouraging sayings like, “reach for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars,” or “your mind is like a parachute, it works best when it’s open,” and all that.

The tutoring system at Hogwarts was a fairly straight-forward procedure. There was a bulletin in the Great Hall on which one could write their name and the subject they needed assistance in. A tutor would be assigned to them, and then an owl would be sent to their dormitory with the time and day of the weeks of the scheduled tutoring session. If the student was displeased with their assigned tutor or decided they no longer wanted or needed to be tutored, all they had to do was send an owl or stop showing up altogether. The tutor would get the message.

While Ted had a fairly unblemished record in regards to getting his students to ‘succeed’ in their academics, the previous month, he had had a rather difficult student. It had been a Slytherin boy, who will go unnamed, who had been required to undergo tutoring per the instruction of his professors. They left the boy in Ted’s capable hands, certain he could turn the trouble-maker around. However, the student had made the sessions a living Hell, doing his absolute best to make Ted give up on him so he could stop going. Eventually, the nameless Slythlerin boy, fed up and filled with pent-up testosterone, stopped going, and Ted hadn’t heard from him sense – almost. The only thing was, since those events had transpired, his glasses had mysteriously disappeared on four occasions. In plain English: someone was hazing him. He would set the glasses down to clean then, be distracted by the librarian, or a student he was tutoring, and when he’d turn back around, they would be gone. The first time this had happened, Ted had gone into a mild panic. He retraced his every step in search of them, but without success. By the end of the day, however, they’d suddenly turn back up. Never one for controversy, Ted just assumed he’d misplaced them. But when it kept happening, he grew increasingly certain this was a hoax.

As he wriggled free from underneath the table, he bumped his head hard against the pointed edge. “Blast!” he cursed loudly, finding himself getting more and more annoyed.

Withdrawing his wand, he commanded wearily, “Accio glasses.” He waited for a beat or two, and then sighed with disappointment. He hadn’t expected the Summoning spell to work, as it hadn’t in the past. No doubt a protective charm had been cast. He had to give that daft Slytherin boy credit for being so surprisingly crafty. Perhaps he’d been listening during their lessons, after all.

Ted glanced at the clock hanging in the library. At this rate, he’d never find his glasses, and he had another student arriving any minute. He definitely couldn’t have them arrive and him crawling along the floor like some buffoon. Sitting down at one of the vacant tables, Ted thumbed through the open textbook in front of him, trying to pass the time till they arrived.

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Last Edit: Jan 17, 2013 18:24:17 GMT -8 by Deleted

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Dec 30, 2012 9:04:42 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2012 9:04:42 GMT -8

Andromeda was not a bad student; in fact, she had done quite well on her OWLs last year, thank you very much. However, none of her impressive grades, exceptional OWL scores, nor her own somewhat brilliant intelligence came easily to her. No, Andromeda worked for her smarts—and hard. Sometimes, working hard wasn’t enough. To that end, she took full advantage of the tutoring opportunities that Hogwarts offered. Andromeda had no qualms about seeking help, and in fact, she even could credit her tutoring experiences with some of her best relationships over the past few years, when there had been flirtations with a tutor or three from the right families. But that was certainly not the goal for today.

Currently, the troubling subject – apart from the news of her recent betrothal (which had come just that morning) – was potions. Not a particularly meticulous soul, Andromeda had always had to put a lot of effort and energy into the practical side of potions; this year was no different. In fact, this year had been the worst yet: she found herself drowning, despite all her hard work. More so than ever, Andromeda found herself playing catch up with the majority of the coursework; she was even falling behind when it came to the written portion, and it was at this point that Andromeda knew it was best to seek out the help of another tutor. Her regular potions tutor had graduated last year, and so she’d had to find another. It hadn’t taken long before her request was granted: today was her first appointment with someone named Theodore, in the library this afternoon.

Between the letter she’d received that morning and her chat with her sister over lunch, Andromeda had been left feeling both charged…and unsettled. This wasn’t unusual after a conversation with Bellatrix, but the emotions were doubled because of the subject matter. Andromeda hated having others controlling her and her life –even if it was her parents… perhaps especially her parents, who may have given her life, but knew scant little about her now. It made her—it made her want to do something just completely opposite of what they wanted! It burned her up from the inside, made her feel impatient and unloved and… rebellious. But she tamped it down, for she knew better. She was Andromeda Black, and she did not rebel. She was dutiful, she was a good daughter. And, despite her wishes, she would remain so… excepting for her last name, she supposed. Jacen Frost wasn’t so bad, she thought.

After she had finished her chat with Bellatrix, Andromeda had settled into the Slytherin common room, writing an essay for her Charms class… with her mind half on her betrothal, her family, and… possibilities. Because it was true: Jacen Frost wasn’t so bad. He might not be her ideal, and they may have never actually shared words, but she knew basically who he was. In fact, she had become so sunk into her thoughts that she had nearly forgotten all about the scheduled tutoring session, set to begin promptly at three. Hurrying as so not to be late – that was certainly not the first impression she wished to make – Andromeda quickly packed up her bag, and quickly moved out of the common room—only to nearly collide with a housemate. Ever the Black, Andromeda wrinkled her nose and said, ”Excuse you?” to the marginally younger student. For some reason unperturbed by this, he simply shrugged, pressed a pair of glasses into her hands, and wordlessly entered into the common room. Beyond puzzled, and running late already, Andromeda paused only a moment in her confusion before she hurried to the library.

As she entered, she was unsurprised to find it more or less empty. It was rare to find many students in the library so early into the year, and rarer still on a weekend afternoon. Even the most studious of Ravenclaws tended to take it easy so early in the year; it was just the second month of classes, and the weather was still splendid. On a day like today, it would mostly be a shame to waste it locked away doing homework in the dusty cathedral of books. However, Andromeda knew it was necessarily for some: such as herself. She was more than happy to give up part of her Saturday (certainly one in which she did not feel particularly like enjoying the crisp autumnal weather outdoors, like today) to help her potions grade. As she ventured towards the study corners of the library, Andromeda became aware of—rather than heard—the subtle sound of pages being turned. There was no other sounds; she smiled. It looked as though they would have the space utterly to themselves, as she’d hoped. Andromeda had experienced the battle with other studying students, over space and noise pollution… it was never pretty, whether with one other small group, or fifteen.

There, as she neared him, she was able to study her new tutor for a moment. She didn’t recognize him – but then, she wasn’t particularly familiar with the older students that she did not regularly see. He was a Ravenclaw, she noted, and not unhandsome. It was in a subtle way, though: he was by and large rather ordinary, but there was something about that that made it special. She was rather used to all the charm… the smooth looks, the clever flirtations. It had been a while since she’d seen someone so—so—what was the phrase? Oh. Yes—down to earth. This was a young man who, while apparently rather intelligent, wasn’t full of himself, and seemed to be fairly simple. Simple—how long had it been since she’d met someone simple, she wondered as she neared him. Shaking her head to clear the odd thoughts, and quashing the odd feeling that was uncurling in her belly, Andromeda smiled her new-acquaintance smile and spoke quietly, observant as ever of the library rules.

”Theodore?” she inquired, knowing full well it was him—they were, after all, the only ones in the area, aside from the librarian at her circulation desk. ”Hello, I’m your new tutee. Andromeda Black,” she continued, introducing herself. She settled down across from him, and set her bag down. Realizing she also still held the glasses her housemate had given her, she set them on the table for safe-keeping. ”Sorry, these aren’t mine—someone just handed them off to me on my way. I suppose I’ll have to find the owner later,” she said. Her eyes still on her tutor, she realized that they hadn’t left him since she entered. Odd. She lowered her gaze, and pulled out her potions textbook. ”Um. Where would you like to begin, I suppose?” Nervous—she was never nervous. She never said “um” and she never, never had felt so at odds with a first meeting. Such an unsettling day, she thought. That must be it. Just—just that.

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 4, 2013 19:37:48 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2013 19:37:48 GMT -8

In addition to being quite the bookworm, Ted was also an avid fan of Quidditch. While his favorite matches to attend were those involving his own House, the wise Ravenclaws, Ted was always one of the first in the stands, regardless of who was playing. There was something about the comraderie and zeal that Quidditch inspired; he couldn't get enough of it. Every year, he and his family, though Muggles that they were, attended the World Cup. Ted would have given his liver and both his kidneys to play for the Ravenclaw team, but sadly, the poor boy had little athleticism to speak of. He wasn't completely hopeless, though - he was a fair runner and had a certain aptitude for Muggle billiards. It was mostly hand-eye coordination he was lacking, and Ted had enough self-awareness to stop himself from trying out for the Quidditch team every year.

Currently though, in the wake of this beautiful, weekend afternoon, was a Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Slytherin, and even though most had a damn good guess as to who the winner would be, - Slytherin - it still pained Ted to be away from the jostling crowd, the cheers, and not to mention, the concession stand. Alas alack, this was the only day this week that would fit with both he and the student's schedule. A slave to his academics, Ted wasn't about to flake on this girl. Even still, Ted could swear he could hear the cheering even from the library, and it took all his willpower to focus on the text in front of him, Advanced Potion-Making.

While many had little care for Potions, Ted had to admit, that motion-making was one of his favorite subjects. It could be monotonous and frequently tedious, that much was true. However, the Ravenclaw found Potions to be one of the more fascination branches of wizardry. Unlike the other subjects, Potions made certain things, usually the things people covet most, completely possible. If you wanted someone to fall in love with you, all that had to be made was a cauldron of Amorentia. A brew of Polyjuice Potion could give you the appearance of anyone - within certain perameters, of course - and if one felt they were weak, they could rectify that with a Strengthening Solution. Ted especially liked their professor. Professor Slughorn had managed to make an otherwise dull subject all the more interesting with his natural jubilance and careful instruction. All in all, Ted felt the art of potion-making highlighted what it really meant to be a wizard; to make the impossible, possible.

Suddenly, he heard the door to the library close shut, waking him up from his thoughts. A few moments passed, and then a brunette girl came into view. He recognized the girl immediately. Who wasn't familiar with the three Black sisters, all three beautiful, wealthy, and not to mention completely elitist snobs. As a Muggle-Born, Ted had little patience for all that blood-purity rubbish. If you were a witch or wizard, that's what you were, regardless of how 'pure' or 'not pure' your blood was. He couldn't stand anyone who felt they were superior to him, especially over something that was beyond one's control. Having been at the opposite end of pure-bloods prejudice his entire years at Hogwarts, Ted was, admittedly, a bit passionate about his beliefs. But then, he reminded himself that this was just a tutoring session. They would just be talking about brewing, concentrations, brass scales, cauldrons, and the like. There would be no point in butting heads with this girl, even if she proved to be a bit short-sighted.

When she said his name, a small smile on her face, Ted shot up from his seat and awkwardly motioned to the chair opposite of him. The act surprised him. Why had he done that? This wasn't Medeival England where men bowed and women curtsied and all that. His face turned crimson and he ruffled his hair uncertainly. "Uh... Ted. You can call me Ted. Pleasure to meet you, Andromeda." Certain his oddness was weirding her out, Ted sat down immediately, pretending none of that had happened. He thumbed the pages of the textbook, wondering why he couldn't stop smiling. It wasn't because she was pretty - which she most certainly was, by the way - because there were dozens of pretty girls at Hogwarts, many of whom he had had hopeless and unacknowledged crushes on. But with Andromeda Black, it was something else. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He suddenly felt terrible as to having pigeon-holed her as some snobbish elitist only a few moments ago. Surely she wasn't anything of the sort.

As she set a pair of glasses down the table, Ted recognized them immediately, even with his blurry vision. "My glasses!" He exclaimed. Picking up, he examined them briefly, making sure they were without scratch or blemish. "Thank you so much for finding these! Honestly, everything's been a blur all day. It's been maddening. You say someone just handed them off to you? Pardon me, but was it a Slytherin boy?"

It was then though that he remembered Narcissa, Andromeda, and Bellatrix being some of the brightest witches in the school. He was surprised Andromeda would seek tutoring, if that was the case. Knitting his brows together, he motioned abstractedly towards the textbook. "I hope I'm not being... uh... indecorous, but I was under the impression all the Black sisters make excellent marks in their subjects. Why did you request tutoring? I'm sorry, that's... really rude. I shouldn't have asked."

Flipping to the section in the book on how to brew a Wiggenwld Potion. "I took the liberty of speaking to Professor Slughorn and he told me this was where your year was at. Is there anything in particular about Potions that you're having difficulty with?" Even now that they had settled into their lesson, Ted still had that silly grin on his face.

He'd completely forgotten about that Quidditch match, after all.

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Last Edit: Jan 17, 2013 18:24:45 GMT -8 by Deleted

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 5, 2013 2:04:06 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2013 2:04:06 GMT -8

As any girl like Andromeda might, the first thought she was now having was that she wished she’d put more thought, previously, into her attire: while she was certainly not unattractive—she knew herself well enough that this was never the case, especially not in public—but in the presence of Ted Tonks, she suddenly felt as though she hadn’t done enough. First impressions, she thought, and she felt… spectacularly underdressed for it this time. She was certainly fashionable today—if it hadn’t been for the study session, she’d be in the stands, and that was always quite the place to be seen, especially on Slytherin match days. She was a little bit wound too tight to ever even consider the idea of playing the sport, but she did love to watch the players. Still, she found herself not minding missing the sleek bodies zipping across the pitch today—even if Slytherin was certain to pound Hufflepuff straight into the ground, promising quite the exhilarating viewing experience—because here she was, in the emptied library: with Ted Tonks, and for some inexplicable reason… that was special.

She’d never heard his name before, and perhaps that was why she’d ended up calling him Theodore instead of Ted, because the shortened name did suit him so much better. She knew that she was here to better understand: potions, that is, and while she knew that he would likely be a great well of knowledge there… she felt the overwhelming need to understand Ted himself as well, during these sessions. Of course, since he was a Ravenclaw—of the acceptable house—but she’d not heard of his surname before… he likely wasn’t a good match for her. And she was more or less engaged to be married already… but. But. None of that registered in her mind, not truly—not in a way that mattered, because a part of her brain barked at that information that she just didn’t care, and this was a response that was rather new to the dutiful middle child, and something that she made certain to keep a secret. No one could know she had that thought… but for now, it was delicious to think it, sitting across from him.

What was it about him? She’d had chemistry with tutors before. She’d had crushes before. She’d always been rather flirtatious, she’d always had a particular weak point for those she had studied with—there was something about the regular one-on-one sessions that afforded a sense of intimacy, at least to Andromeda. But something was just different, and it thrilled her. Something was new here, and it sent these feelings all over and around her, and she loved every moment of it. She didn’t care about anything but keeping those feelings going, at least for a few more moments, and when he spoke, correcting her use of his name, she was pulled out of that feeling—and into another. ”Oh,” she replied, feeling her cheeks heat up, and knowing they were working into a fervent pink. ”My apologies—that’s just what the owl said. And please—you can call me Dromeda, if it’s a bit easier for you.” She laughed, and it wasn’t the flirtatious laugh she was used to—it was a new laugh, and she liked to hear it from herself. It felt… free. ”My name is far too long, I know,” she continued, wrinkling her nose slightly.

She thought it was cute, the way he’d stood up for her, cute and unexpected and new as well, and she found she loved all those things in a way she’d never thought she would. She found herself watching him go through his own textbook, watching him smile, certain that her own expression must mirror his – perhaps a bit more secretive, a little less awkward… but a mirror nonetheless. She idly wondered what kissing Ted might be like, and being absolutely unable to take a solid guess at the experience. His blurting over the glasses pulled her out of that, and she laughed. ”Oh, good, I’m glad,” she said, and decided instantly that she liked him even better with them on, for reasons that she—yet again—couldn’t place. ”Mmm,” she said, nodding, and then realized that she wasn’t speaking words. Blushing a moment, she spoke again: ”Yes, I mean. It was a Slytherin—no idea who he was though. I didn’t really recognize him, just the badge on the uniform.” She shrugged, smiling apologetically. ”Sorry I couldn’t help more…” and right then and there, decided that should this happen again, she would find the boy, she would make him realize that he would no longer screw around with her tutor, and she would do it her way. Those thoughts faded, though, as he spoke again.

She blinked a moment, and then laughed again. Wearing her secret smile, she leaned in conspiratorially, ”and tutors are exactly how I keep it up. I’m no dolt, Ted—but I know when I require help. And potions…it’s my weak spot.” She looked him in the eye, feeling another weak spot open up. ”Oh. Yes, that,” she said in reply to the subject at hand. ”Well, to be honest with you… I’ve never been all that good with any of it. My last tutor was always very good about helping me understand all the steps, and that did help me a great deal… Potions is so encompassing, so much to just know, and… well, the practical bits. You wouldn’t mind if some of our tutoring sessions were more hands-on, would you?” Even though she shouldn’t, even though she should be getting down to business, to the important bits… she found herself leaning in, thrilling with the idea of a hands-on lesson with Ted—knowing that she was already smiling her most flirtatious smile, at the exact moment part of her mind was screaming not to. But, as the other part had already declared: she didn’t care.

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 8, 2013 0:01:32 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2013 0:01:32 GMT -8

Gossip wasn't exactly something that Ted kept up with; he was much more inclined toward obscure literature on vampires or studying up on how to properly brew a Draught of Living Death. However, he would have to be a total git to be in the dark about the Black sisters. What was there to say, really? Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - from oldest to youngest, respectively - were practically wizarding royalty, on par with families such as the Malfoys, Lestranges, Rosiers, Carrows, and so forth. Beautiful, intelligent, and powerful, the trio were the envy of many and at the receiving end of others' affections even more. Rumor had it that Mr. Black had squandered the family fortune and it now appeared as if he were making up for it by marrying off his daughters. First had been Bellatrix to the eldest Lestrange brother. Andromeda was very recently engaged to a Jacen Frost, and word through the grave vine was that Narcissa would soon be betrothed as well. True love apparently didn't exist on the Black family tree, and as Ted sat there, across from this brilliant, charming girl, Ted couldn't help but feel envious of Jacen Frost. For some, inexplicable reason, he found himself hoping that Jacen would treat her right.

Ted shook away those thoughts. What was he thinking? He was supposed to be tutoring this girl, not daydreaming about an impossible future with her - they would live in a two story cottage in Godric's Hollow, enjoy apple-picking in the autumn, and have a beautiful daughter that looked just like Andromeda. Merlin, what was wrong with him? If she heard what he was thinking, she'd no doubt transfigure him into a bloody toad. He was a right git, wasn't he? Coveting a girl that would shortly be married to someone else. The craziest part of it all was that, he had spoken to her for maybe two seconds. He had no reason to feel the way he did, this girl he didn't know at all. He was just being foolish. Letting his hormones get the better of him. They were here to study and that was that.

Truthfully, Ted didn't have much experience in the ways of love. The most he'd done was kiss a girl and that hadn't gone too well. Ted had had his fair share of crushes in the past, but none of them had ever amounted to anything, except the occasional public humiliation. Thank you very much, Siobhan Cassel. A hopeless romantic by nature, it was easy for Ted to fall head over heels for a girl. It was easy for him to concoct elaborate, romantic scenarios in his head, nights filled with dancing, fancy dinners, long walks, all that cheesy rubbish he so loved. He longed for the day he would meet his true love and live happily ever after. Perhaps it was silly and childish, but Ted believed in soul mates, and fate, and destiny. In fact, he found it a bit sad that most of his peers 'outgrew' that sort of thing. There was never a doubt in his mind that he would meet the right girl one day, and he was absolutely certain that he would never be truly happy until he met The One. In any case, Ted had fancied many girls. But not like this.

He couldn't quite explain how Andromeda was any different than the others. Let's put it this way: Ted would slay a dragon for this girl. Suddenly, he wished there was a dragon in sight to prove his manly worth - actually, in hindsight, he was glad there wasn't a dragon, because he'd probably get burst into flames and Andromeda would forever remember him as that dorky boy that burst into flames. More to the point, there was just something about her that made him feel the way he did, something innate and unquestionable. When she spoke, Ted could feel his face redden in a blush, as if he were a starry-eyes schoolgirl. He hoped she didn't think he was silly or laughable. More than anything, he wanted to impress her, make her laugh, make her smile. He grinned, nodding his head. "I like your name. It suits you. In Greek mythology, Andromeda was the daughter of a king and said to be more beautiful than even the sea nymphs," Ted's face reddened - if that was possible - as he said that. Merlin, she would think he was a total dork now! Clearing his throat, he supplied quickly, "Would it be ok if I called you Meda, for short?" She was special. Ted didn't much care about the reason why. He just knew she was.

His heart raced when she leaned in toward him, and he had a fleeting image of him kissing her. His hands cradling the back of her head, her hands on his neck. He had no doubt that it would be wonderful. Ted pushed the thoughts away, knowing that wasn't why they had met up in the first place. He was her tutor. That's all he was to her, nothing more. As she spoke, Ted nodded, feeling a sudden amount of respect for her. Here was a girl that was undoubtedly smart, but wasn't a narcissus about it. She was willing to admit her weaknesses and do her best to overcome them. That was a rare quality to be found in a person, and Ted felt this said a lot about her character. He nodded, returning her smile. "I agree. Care of Magical Creatures is a subject I have to work a bit harder at. I'm ok with the written portions of the class... it's the hands-on parts that are always a bit more difficult," There probably wasn't a double-meaning in her use of the phrase 'hands-on' but Ted couldn't help but imagine that she felt the same way about him as he did her. Of course, that was ridiculous. She was a pure-blooded Slythlerin who was beautiful, and talented, and not to mention engaged to another man. Ted was just a middle-class muggle-born. Granted, he had a good head on his shoulders, but pure-bloods didn't much care about that. "You know, you actually make a very good point. We probably should have gone to the dungeons to actually work on your potion-making. We'll just study for now - definitions, history, recipes, et cetera - and then get to the more practical stuff later. How's that sound?"

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Last Edit: Jan 17, 2013 18:25:14 GMT -8 by Deleted

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 15, 2013 16:52:31 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2013 16:52:31 GMT -8

The largely emptied halls, the near-abandoned library—of course, Andromeda knew the reasoning behind it all. It wasn’t simply that it was early in the year, the weather was nice, and it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. No, while this was enough to send most students out exploring the grounds—some lazily walking with their boyfriend, others joking around the lake with their mates… others still, she knew, would be enjoying the fresh air from a higher altitude—and it was with that thought that she remembered just why the castle was currently so quiet. Of course; Andromeda had known about the Quidditch match, but it must have just slipped her mind with everything else that had been going on with her today. Oops.

She thought about the action that must be taking place high above the Quidditch pitch just now: their classmates were clobbering each other with balls and bats, competitive and ruthless. And here they were. She couldn’t speak for Ted, obviously, but as for herself… she was certainly thinking some highly inappropriate thoughts about her tutor. Of course… she had noticed, the shine of a prefect’s badge peeking out of his bookbag. A Ravenclaw Prefect? He was likely too—too perfect for that. But maybe she was being too quick to judge – he seemed perfectly fine. And maybe he was thinking the thoughts she was. Or perhaps he, like many of the males she knew, was thinking thoughts far more inappropriate. But as Andromeda glanced up at Ted, she saw little flashes: sweet kisses, murmured “love you”s. She saw herself curled up in his lap on a sofa, she saw him running his fingers through her hair. Her heart thudded in her chest as her mind, unbidden, launched forward into the future.

Her eyes trained on the textbook in front of her, she could see it in her mind. She could see their relationship. She could see herself walking with him outside, just as she’d been thinking of some couples doing earlier. She could see Ted surprising her from behind, tickling her. She tried not to blush as she thought of stolen, passionate kisses and finding a way to undo the cool, calm Ravenclaw boy. His name was a sigh in her mind, in her own voice, and his eyes were kind and loving in a way she’d never known before. She could see herself with him, in a home together. A child—she could, five minutes after meeting Ted Tonks, so easily see every moment of their courtship, and spending the rest of her life with him. And then, like a pin to a balloon, it deflated. She remembered: her duty was to marry Jacen.

Everything that she was felt utterly devastated at the loss of that future. Her heart sank into her stomach, and she knew that despite everything, including their short acquaintance, that she wanted Ted with every fiber of her being. She didn’t know what to do with this information. She just—she didn’t. How could she? Even if she wasn’t betrothed to Jacen Frost, someone that Ted likely knew better than she did… even if her family wasn’t using her to replenish their fortunes, then she knew that she’d never heard the Tonks name before. And she knew, because of that, even if she were free to choose her husband as she’d once thought she might be… she knew Ted would be on the “sorry, no” side of the list. For half a moment, she didn’t care. For half a moment, she thought about doing the unthinkable: disregarding the letter, the betrothal, and being with him anyway. If he wanted her back, of course… and for the first time in her life, Andromeda had no idea if the boy that she was irrevocably interested in had even noticed her in such a way. For that moment, she wondered if she could do it – if she could have a relationship with him. And the flashes returned…

…only to disappear when she remembered that she could never. She was a dutiful daughter. She would marry Jacen, and she would deal with it. And while the thought of relinquishing control of her life had never appealed to her, and ever since her letter had come, she had been a bit melancholy where that was concerned… this was the first that Andromeda had wanted to cry over it. The loss of a relationship that was purely imaginary made her want to run into her dormitory and cry into her pillow – it was like a cruel break-up, despite nothing having happened. She did not understand this at all; how could these emotions be even happening? He was just a boy, nothing particularly special about him—why were these feelings being stirred within her so easily?

She was looking up at Ted, trying to figure out what about him was just so irresistible when he spoke. Shaken from her thoughts, she instantly laughed again. ”Thank you—and yes. Not many people think about that story,” she said, beaming as he knew the beginnings of her name. ”Of course, her parents tied her to a rock as a sacrifice because their boasting of her beauty angered the gods. It was up to this hero to save her.” She smiled softer, at that. Her parents had sacrificed her, alright—but there would be no hero for her. Only Jacen, she thought, her heart aching at the idea. ”Oh,” she said in response to his request. Meda. That was what Rabastan called her; she didn’t allow anyone else to call her anything but Dromeda, usually. Only close family could call her Andy, now. But… there was something about the name on his lips that made her heart leap into her throat. ”Of course. I’d like that,” she replied. She knew then. He was irresistible just because he was. There didn’t have to be a reason, she realized.

As she leaned in towards him, her nerves danced. The kissing images came parading again through her mind, all of them shouting for what she knew she wanted: kiss me, kiss me, kiss me! She took in a deep, steadying breath, but it didn’t work. It might have, had she not been so close to him—close enough to smell that which was his. It was comforting, and alluring, and absolutely indefinable, and all Andromeda knew was that she’d love nothing more than be in his arms. Stop that, she told herself. She was here to study. Not f—find a boyfriend. Of any sort. She’d almost thought it—almost thought ‘fall in love’ but that was so far off what she needed to be thinking, she just… she couldn’t let herself even contemplate it. ”Oh—good. You understand, then.” She found herself beaming again. What was wrong with her today? She was a Black, she was supposed to be chilly, not warm.

”I, um.” There was that um again, she thought scornfully. ”I’d like that, quite a bit, actually. Whenever you are free to meet up in the dungeons, please just owl me about it.” If you want to be tutoring me in potions-making or not, she thought… again, images of hidden, stolen kisses flashed through her mind. ”But. Yes. That sounds good to me. Where did Professor Slughorn suggest we begin? We were finishing up some work with Felix Felicis, but I wasn’t sure if he’d want to focus on that any more, or simply move on to Amortentia. All I really know about that one is that it’s a powerful love potion—and the different smells, I think I read about that last night,” she mentioned, and realized that after today, she wouldn’t be surprised if what she would smell when they brewed it in class would be different.

Last Edit: Jan 15, 2013 18:07:53 GMT -8 by Deleted

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 17, 2013 19:51:01 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2013 19:51:01 GMT -8

There could have been an army of people in that deserted library and Ted Tonks would never have been th wiser. A dragon could have flown over his head, breathed an inferno of fire, and swallowed Madame Pince and he wouldn't have blinked twice. His focus and thoughts were only on the girl in front of him. Never in his life had he been more mesmerized than he was now. He hadn't been lying when he compared her to her Greek namesake. As casually as he'd said it, he truly believed that Meda was more beautiful than the sea nymphs. More beautiful than any other woman he'd ever met. Ted could hardly fathom the flood of emotions he was feeling: lust for such a beautiful girl, surprise at her seeming difference from other Slytherins, disbelief that such an incredible person could even exist, and pure happiness that she did.

A hero. A small smile tugged at his lips when she said that. Ted wanted more than anything to be that hero for her, to be the person she thought about when she was lonely, the person that could always make her smile. All his life he'd been waiting for the day that someone would walk into his life and make him feel this way. He was clumsy, and awkward, and over-protective, but this person wouldn't care. They would even love him for these things. Could Andromeda Black be this person? A part of him began to hope, began to entertain the possibility. But then, like a thunderclap to the brain, he remembered Jacen Frost. Her betrothed. Her real hero. Ted sighed.

Without thinking he said, "I've heard that you're engaged to Jacen Frost," Merlin, why did he say that? He knew the reason why, though. Ted wanted to know what Andromeda thought about it all. He would never say that out loud, of course. He at least wantd to maintain the pretense of manners. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he searched for a way to make it sound as if he wasn't trying to be nosy. "Best wishes," he finally managed. A smile was on his face as he said it, but he was anything but thrilled. If you wanted the truth of it, Ted wasn't a big fan of the Head Boy. One, because Ted had wanted the Head Boy position, but it had gone to that Hufflepuff instead. No doubt it was that movie-star smile of his that was the ticket. Ted found himself bristling. Secondly, Jacen had always rubbed Ted the wrong way. Sure, Jacen was cordial and he and Ted had never had any disagreements to speak of. It was because there was something just fake about him, like he was always thinking something completely opposite of what he was saying. Now that that Jacen was also in possession of Meda, Ted was certain he loathed the other boy.

Ted, a believer of fate, and soul mates, and everlasting love, couldn't even conceive the idea of being forced to marry another person. He wouldn't say otherwise, but he had difficulty believing that a woman like Meda would be truly happy in an arranged marriage. Maybe she was doing it strictly asa family obligation. Perhaps she secretly hated the thought of marrying Mr. Frost and actually-- Then Ted stopped himself. Blood hell, what was he thinking? He'd known this girl for less than two seconds; he couldn't possibly entertain the idea that he knew anything about her. She was a stranger and he was just an overly romantic boy who was playing ridiculous daydreams about her over and over in his head. Nothing would come of this infatuation he was feeling. Most likely she wanted the same things any other pure-blooded witch from Slytherin wanted: wealth, status, power, and a suitable man on her arm. She was engaged and far out of his league.

The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed. Really, in what universe would a beautiful Black sister cast a second glance at him? After all, the only reason she was here was to get help in Potions. It was a 'Tutoring Help' flyer she had answered, not 'Seeking True Love.' A mud-blood, middle-class, and an unquestioned dork, he was hardly the man of her dreams. Or anyone's dreams, he sometimes feared. He could just imagine the sneer of disapproval of her family and friends. Ted would be so far below their expectations of her. Worse yet, he could imagine her incredulous laugh if he were to confess his feelings. It was all be a joke to her, he was sure. But then he looked up at her and he could hardly catch his breath. She was smiling that sweet, infectious smile of hers. In another life, perhaps, they could have been together...

"Uh... yes. Right, I spoke with the professor, and he recommend we start with Amortntia." Slightly flustered, Ted flipped through his Potions book, scanning for the section on Amortentia. Crimson rose to his cheeks at the thought of such a potion. Nodding, he grinned at her response. "That's right. The smell differs from person to person, depending on what attracts them. The person themselves doesn't have to acknowledge of even be aware of their fondness for the object of their affection in order to smell it." As he spoke, he couldn't help wonder what he would smell if he brewed a cauldron of it now. It had been a year since he'd make it in his own Potions class. "It's been a while, but last year I smelled peppermint, parchment, and spring flowers."

For a moment he was able to forget about Jacen and the impossibility of them being together. He just saw her. But when the silence set in, that knot in his stomach returned. Inwardly, he was despairing at the loss of this love he would never have. She was right there in front of him but he was already missing her.

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Last Edit: Jan 17, 2013 20:08:53 GMT -8 by Deleted

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 21, 2013 18:28:32 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2013 18:28:32 GMT -8

It was hard to focus on even the idea of potions, sitting across from him. Maybe it was stereotypical and silly of her, but Andromeda just wanted to sigh softly and start at him for the next several hours. She wanted to daydream more about him—about a relationship… about a possible future for them both. She wanted to dream and wish and hope for this wonder-filled life together, where they could be together, and have a family, and love each other so deeply that none of the bad stuff mattered: not her own family’s swift and definite disapproval, not any differences they may have, nothing could stand in the way of their love. But maybe Andromeda was just… too romantic. Maybe that kind of love didn’t exist in the real world, she thought.

Because just as she was beginning to daydream about the power of the love they could share… Ted spoke up. And as though the glass that had held the vision of that future had shattered violently, Andromeda jerked her head up. ”I—“ She swallowed, aware that her cheeks had flushed with embarrassment that people were already talking about it. ”Um. Y—yes. That’s… that’s right. I am,” she said, bowing her head to train her eyes on the book in front of her, uncomfortable discussing her engagement to someone she’d never met before with this beautiful, wonderful example of what she’d always wanted without realizing. ”Thank you,” she replied. She bit her lip and looked up at Ted. Could she trust him? She thought she could; though she wasn’t sure why.

”I’ll be honest with you, though… just don’t tell anyone, please,” she said, hesitantly, pleading with her eyes as well as her voice. ”I don’t know much about him at all, and I’m definitely not sure I want to marry him. But I will. Because I have to.” Her gaze shifted down once more, unable to meet Ted in the eye as she spoke of this. ”You don’t know what it’s like, the pressure. Few people really understand it. Some people break free of it, but mostly… we’re chained to our families. It’s our duty to do as they tell us.” She shook her head and glanced up at him again. ”I’d always hoped I’d marry for love,” she said, blushing as she did, ”but as soon as I got that letter—I can’t turn away from it.” Andromeda chewed on her bottom lip—her nervous habit, and one her mother had always abhorred.

”I’m sorry. You didn’t ask for all that… or any of it, even. I just—I feel like I can trust you. There really aren’t many people I can really talk to about these things,” she said with honesty. She couldn’t with her own family—except for perhaps Sirius, and outside of him… only perhaps Rabastan, though even that came with the caveat of what-if-he-tells-his-family, thus ruining the engagement for Bellatrix, and shame upon the whole family would certainly arise from that. And she felt Ted would be sympathetic, for some reason. Awkward with how candid she had been, Andromeda turned her interest once more back to her textbook. How stupid could she be? This was just—just a crush, nothing more. Nothing less. Yes, she was daydreaming about him. Yes, she’d love to pull him into the stacks and kiss him until they were both hot and bothered. And of course she’d already been thinking of ways to maybe seduce him a little bit once she could get him to help her in the dungeons, alone, working closely together without a table between them.

And then it was back to potions. Andromeda blushed for the third time in what seemed like the last ten minutes—maybe even less—as she realized that this must be what someone under the influence of that potion may feel… Andromeda distractedly pulled her fingers through her hair, trying to focus on the information. ”Right,” she replied, nodding… and then smiling. ”That sounds like it’d smell nice,” she said softly, and suddenly wishing her perfume had peppermint oils infused in it. That was so silly of her… But it was true, nonetheless.

In the silence, she glanced up at Ted, and caught herself in a shared gaze for a moment. For that moment—everything else disappeared. The library was meaningless, there was no Hogwarts, and the entirety of the British Isles may as well have been the planet Mars for all she was concerned. Her heart felt like it stopped when she looked him in the eye, and that was all the mattered in that moment. But then she looked away. ”Ahm. Since it’s such—such a powerful love potion,” she said, scrambling for words of a more professional, tutee-like manner, ”are the ingredients particularly difficult to put together?” She paused. ”I mean—this can’t just be something that can be thrown together by anyone, can it? Otherwise everyone would always be walking around all dreamy-eyed and sighing over whomever.”

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Jan 23, 2013 20:50:06 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2013 20:50:06 GMT -8

At her despairing confession, Ted could feel his heart breaking into a thousand, scattered pieces. The thought of Andromeda unhappy-- it was unbearable in a way he'd never known possible. All his life, Ted had never felt so connected to someone, especially in such a short amount of time. Already it felt as if he'd known her for an entire lifetime, and he wasn't sure how he'd gone his whole life not knowing her until now. He knew, without a doubt, that he was undergoing some kind of transformation. What it would meant or what would come of it, Ted still wasn't exactly sure. But he was more than willing to find out, as long as Andromeda was there with him. He was beginning anew.

"There's a Russian fable you might find interesting. If you'd, um, like to hear it." With a slight bow of his head, he cleared his throat. "It begins with a man who is running from a monster. So, to hide himself, he jumps into a well. As he's falling down though, he sees that there is a dragon waiting for him at the bottom. The dragon's jaws are open, ready to eat him. Right then, the man sees an outstretched branch and makes a grab for it. He dangles there, in between the two monsters. He knows he can't climb back out the well, and he knows he can't let go of the branch. So what does he do? Another problem shortly arises when he sees two mice, one white and one black, beginning to nibble at the base of the branch. It's only a matter of time before the mice finish and he falls to his death. His fate is inescapable. Contemplating the end of his life, it is then that he notices honey dripping from the end of the tree branch. At this, he sticks out his tongue and catches the falling drops. It is a sweet relief and more importantly, a distraction from the inevitable. The conclusion of the fable is this: We are the man hanging on by the branch. The end awaits us. So what can we do but distract ourselves by whatever drops of honey come our way? Ted sighed. Paused. He searched her eyes for some kind of reaction. Then he shook his head sagely. "I know... it seems dire and not at all comforting. It's a metaphor for our mortality as humans. It's pessimistic, but I like to see a certain amount of light in it. You have all these inescapable horrors around you. It doesn't seem like you have a choice. But there's always a choice. Even if it means tasting just a few drops of honey before the end. I guess what I'm trying to say is, our lives-- they're so fleeting. Why would you waste it being unhappy?"

Merlin, help him. That was probably the rudest, most inconsiderate thing he'd ever said in his whole, anonymous existence. She'd entrusted him some of her most personal secrets, and here he was, acting like some smart-ass, impertinent jerk. What on earth did he know about her pain or the pressure of family obligation? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Crimson rose to his cheeks, bracing for the moment that she'd grab her potions text book and smack him right over the head. God knew he deserved it. Honestly, all he'd wanted to do was help her in any way he could. He got the impression that she felt... alone. As if no one understood what she was going through. Even though he couldn't relate entirely, all Ted wanted to do was show her that someone was there and someone cared.

There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Andromeda deserved more than this sad fate her parents had forced upon her. How dare her parents exploit their daughter's love for them for their own convenience. It was all Ted could do not to start writing the Black family an irate letter immediately. What gave them the right to do such a thing? Didn't they realize that they were toying with peoples' lives? Someone had to put them in their place. Ted really wasn't the revenge type, but suddenly the notion didn't seem entirely ridiculous to him. He couldn't make a bigger fool of himself than he already had, though. What Andromeda needed right now was a friend. Not some selfish display of testosterone.

Trying to regain any amount of dignity he had left, Ted's gaze shifted toward his textbook. Potions. That was why they were here. Not to listen to him drone on about Russian fables which she probably couldn't care less about. Potions. That's what he needed to focus on. Amortentia. The world's most powerful love potion. How... convenient. Slightly flustered, Ted nodded hastily. "You're very right, Meda. There are all sorts of love potions; Amortentia is the most potent. Some others are Kissing Concoction, Cupid Crystals... just off the top of my head. Amortentia is very difficult to brew. It's ingredients include powdered Moonstone, rose thorns, peppermint, and Ashwinder eggs. Rose thorns and peppermint are easy enough. But the first and last are more difficult to come by. Not to mention preparation, not just the gathering of ingredients, is quite tedious. It's a very volatile mixture."

He laughed at the image of people just walking about all starry-eyed, on constant snog patrol. That blush was still on his cheeks and he hoped Andromeda didn't see his bashfulness. In spite of himself, he imagined making her a love potion... having her feel about him the way he did her... Then he shook himself. How stupid that was! "Of course, love potions are completely unethical. Violating someone's mind like that..." he stopped, shrugging his shoulders. He knew a love potion was one of the greatest moral errors, in spite of their undeniable popularity. Even still, he couldn't stop thinking about Meda in his arms. Meda laughing. Meda playing with his hair. Meda sleeping in his arms. Andromeda. His Andromeda.

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I Feel You in my Heart [andromeda] Feb 16, 2013 11:23:19 GMT -8

Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2013 11:23:19 GMT -8

Andromeda didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t a particularly confessing person, in general: honestly, the most confessing she had done in ages had just been today, talking with Bellatrix, and that had seemed uncomfortable, awkward, and in hindsight, a bit of a terrible idea. And yet, here she found herself pouring her troubled heart out to Ted, who may as well be a stranger… but at the same time, may as well be her closest friend and confidante. That was what she felt in that moment, as she leaned close to him and told him about her troubles. Now that she thought about it, that was what she had felt since she’d sat down. Something about them had just clicked, and she could not feel it un-clicking in any reasonable amount of time…

”Oh?” A smile returned to her lips as she settled in to hear his tale. As he told the fable, Andromeda couldn’t help but be enthralled by him—everything from the way he told the story, to the expression on his face as he finishes it. She loved the way he looked at her. No one had ever looked at her like that before. Oh, she’d had plenty of boys look at her with wanting, or greed, but nothing like the way Ted did. There was a purity to the look in Ted’s eyes, and something in it that spoke to her and made her feel softer, warmer… more. She smiled sadly as he looked at her again, explaining himself. ”No, you’re wrong. It is comforting. Life sucks – not just for me, even though just this morning… that was exactly how I felt, like I had the worst life on the planet. Life just plain sucks for people, and we just have to get by, taste the honey… make the most of what gets thrown at us.” She smiled at him. ”You’re completely correct. Why on earth should I mope around? There’s honey to be tasted. I’ve got a couple years, yet, before I have to actually deal with the terrible stuff.” Reaching across the table, she touched his hand and smiled. ”Thanks,” she said, squeezing gently before withdrawing her hand, a little embarrassed.

”Besides, I’m sitting here with you, aren’t I? This is possible the nicest thing to have happened to me all week, you know.” She spoke truthfully, leaving out that Ted was quickly becoming the only “honey” she could think of in this world. He was the kindest, most wonderful person that she had met in ages, and sitting here across from him… she felt her entire world changing, everything was perfect, and who cared about the mess with Jacen? She was with Ted right now, and that was all that mattered. These were the feelings she had thought she would feel when she met the man she’d marry… it almost made her sad again to think it wouldn’t be so. But then again… nothing is set in stone, is it? She thought to herself. Nothing is definite until it happens, and even then… It can easily be undone, all things except death and birth can be undone, done over again. And so, there is always hope.

And then the conversation once again delved back into what they had initially came to meet for… potions. Despite her need for help in the subject, she wasn’t sure she wanted to spend this time doing this. She wanted to be on a sofa with Ted, curled up. She wanted to walk with him, or lean against him. To kiss him, touch him. Be close. But it was time to focus, she reminded herself. Less focus on love, more focus on… love potions. Andromeda decided it was best to not think too hard on that. She smiled proudly when he told her she was correct—she loved the way he said it, and the way he said her name – said Meda – made her heart jump. ”Oh,” she said, nodding.

She wondered… would she need Cupid Crystals to catch Ted’s attention? Just because she felt something… did not mean he did, too. But she thought she’d caught hints of him suffering the same as she was… so maybe he did feel it, too, maybe… No. Potions, Andromeda. Potions. But every time he spoke, she felt herself sighing on the inside, and when he laughed at her joke… she couldn’t help but smile widely. ”So, tedious, volatile, difficult to find ingredients…” she chewed thoughtfully on her bottom lip. ”Explains why they wait until after OWLs to brew them, I suppose. Are they really that hard to brew?” For a moment, she worried about her capabilities… but then she remembered – this was why she was seeing Ted, after all. And he had told her they could meet again and practice brewing things soon, which would be incredibly helpful. If she could simply remember to focus the whole time. Maybe… maybe she could convince him to see her outside of this, just so she could separate it and focus during their more academic times together…

She smiled fondly at Ted, just at the thought. The idea of spending even more time with him – it brightened her outlook on everything considerably; that is, if she could get him to say yes… should she? Should she be putting herself, and these feelings, first? She had never been truly selfish. More often, she had put her family, friends, sisters, and cousins ahead of herself… maybe it was time to be selfish, forget the other stuff. But then again, maybe it wasn’t up to her. After all, Ted was a prefect, and a seventh year. Plus he probably had other tutoring students. He was likely far too busy for her… ”Oh. Yes. I mean, obviously, it’s a terrible violation,” she quickly said, not having thought of that. ”But… then again… isn’t that what love can feel like, sometimes? Like—you can’t get the person out of your head, the mere idea of them can make your heart race or your knees buckle. Even without the potions, people in love do go dreamy and sighing…” she trailed off, aware she was describing exactly how she felt, and finding herself a little afraid of the intensity of it all. ”But… I suppose that’s the point.” She shook her head, smiling apologetically at him. ”Sorry, thinking aloud.”