they took her apart || lily

Lily seemed a little surprised by Sirius’ presence. Perhaps he had pounced a little too quickly; it was just that he had been meaning to get to Lily all day, but hadn’t been able to find her. Instead he had interrogated other girls in their House and now everyone seemed to be giving him a funny look. He figured that word had gotten out that Sirius was looking for his little perfect date, but he didn’t care. Perhaps if people knew what he was doing it might make his whole quest a lot easier and the girl would just reveal herself. He didn’t see what the matter was, though, because he knew it was Lily. 

“Hm,” he replied simply at her comment about her hair. “That’s pretty impressive, I do have to say.” He didn’t know how she had the ability to change her hair colour at will. He wasn’t aware of a spell that would do such a thing, and going from red to blonde would have taken an insane amount of bleach and changing it back would just make it look frizzy and dead. “Well, your hair looks pretty good considering,” he opted to tell her as he noticed that it was still sleek and shiny. Maybe she didn’t want to give up her secrets and give Sirius an idea to do something similar with his own hair – which he would never do anyway. He valued his hair a little too much for that sort of nonsense, although he wouldn’t be opposed to trying something like that on James, Peter, or Remus. If it went back to normal like Lily’s, he might have been even tempted to do it while they weren’t aware. 

Sirius grinned at her when she admitted that she knew it had been him. He knew it! He bloody knew it. It had been Lily the whole time. He felt a sort of giddiness that was difficult to hold back. She even called him handsome – which, well, he knew he was but it was still nice to be called that from the girl he had fallen for the night previous. 

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, not sure exactly how to get out what he wanted to tell her. James would be furious – then again, the man had been busy lately chasing other girls’ skirts, so why should he get dibs on Lily? You couldn’t claim one girl while chasing others, and that’s how Sirius justified it to himself when he said, “Lily, I think I’m falling for you.” He said it without so much as a blush on his face. He looked her straight in the eyes and waited for a reaction, whether it be a slap on a face or something more appealing. Sirius’ grey eyes searched her face as he looked for any sort of muscle movement or flicker of a smile. He knew this was the right thing to say. He had felt it strongly at the ball, and the girl he had been dancing with must have felt the same way. 

Sirius looked at Lily like she was mad. Not once did it cross his mind that she had no idea what he was talking about. “Considering it doesn’t look all damaged and frayed and such and whatever you girls complain about,” he explained, casually. He watched her fix her hair and definitely began to see what James saw in her. She was so good looking and her every movement seemed simple and elegant, even if the girl herself was more of a fighter. A fighter – that was something most girls at Hogwarts were not. Lily really was the epitome of a Gryffindor, and Sirius wasn’t sure why he never realized that before. She was everything that his family was not, and if he hated his family than that could only mean one thing about Lily.

Her words didn’t sting him the way that he thought that they would, which he thought was odd. He responded with a simple, “Hm,” and wondered why he didn’t feel all heartbroken and sad. Isn’t that how people felt when the one they desired shot them down? “My feelings are surprisingly not hurt,” he murmured. He sat next to her and ran a hand through his hair. He looked sideways at Lily for a moment as if contemplating her. “It couldn’t have been you, then.” He let out a bark of a laugh. “I’m sorry Lils, I take back what I said. I thought you were someone completely different.”

It only occurred to him then that she was very lost in what he was talking about. He would have never told her if James was around, but when the other Marauders weren’t, Sirius found a certain kind of solace within Lily. He always felt like he could talk to her about things. She felt like family and that she would never go away, which was an odd feeling considering he had an irrational fear that everyone would leave him. 

“Okay, so I was at the ball,” Sirius explained, now completely disregarding the fact that only moments earlier he had told her he was falling for her, which he now realized was untrue. How could someone who had never fallen for anyone know what it felt like to do so? “And I danced with this blonde girl in a red dress – well, the same dress that I saw you wear at the ball. I just put two and two together and apparently came up wrong. I just don’t know who she is and …” he paused because he didn’t know how to word himself. Sirius didn’t want to admit true feelings to Lily. He wanted it to be simple and easy, but it didn’t feel that way. “She was hot.” It was all he could end it with. He didn’t want to say that there was a connection or anything of the sort. He had already made a fool of himself once in front of her, and besides, Sirius didn’t talk about feelings. It just wasn’t the way that he was.

When Lily said ‘oh yes, her,’ Sirius could feel his heart beat quicken. He sat up a little straighter as he listened to Lily speak. He watched her lips move as if it would convey what she was trying to say quicker. He didn’t know why he got so excited about the concept that someone finally knew what the hell he was talking about. Perhaps because he was chasing after Ms. Valentine for so long was the reason why Sirius reacted the way he did. He had only been with her for a few moments but… whatever the reason something clicked. It was something that had never happened to Sirius before with a girl.

Sirius laughed at what the girl had said to Lily. It sounded so graceful but at the same time quite joking. She sounded perfect. “Would you recognize her if you saw her again? Do you know who she is? You have to. She had to have been around the same age as us. Come on, Lil, you better not be holding back.”

His words came out in a flurry. He worried a little bit that perhaps Lily would keep back who the girl was merely because Sirius was… well, Sirius. He hoped that she would be a good friend to him, though, and not do anything of the source. Perhaps if he spoke fast enough or honestly enough she would be persuaded to help him on his journey. 

“We have to find her. I’m sure even just a quick walk around the castle would find her,” Sirius said. “If she’s as gorgeous as you make her sound she’ll be easy to point out.” He hoped it was true. Without realizing it, Sirius looked down and discovered that he had taken Lily’s hand in both of his own. He dropped it when he noticed as he had already just proclaimed his love for her… he didn’t need to keep giving off signals. 

Sirius could practically see the wheels turning in Lily’s head as she thought about who the mystery girl was. He wanted her to think faster, although he didn’t know anyone who thought quicker than Lily Evans. 

“A prefect?” Sirius said. “Well, there’s only eight of those, four of which who are female. Which one!” he paused. “And it’s not you, so that’s down to three. Three girls! Lily Evans, you’re an angel.” He didn’t know what the other Houses’ Prefects looked like at the top of his head so he had no idea which ones were blonde or not. He only knew when someone was a Prefect when they explicitly told him that they were one, usually when he was in trouble.

Sirius didn’t even bother to pretend to look ashamed about bombarding the girls of Hogwarts about whether or not they danced with him that night at a particular time and if they had gone by ‘Ms. Valentine.’ It wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Maybe they were just angry because he wasn’t calling after them the way he was looking for this girl. He tried not to think so arrogantly, but it was there in his head anyway. 

Sirius followed after Lily like a puppy after its owner, and soon the two of them were within the walls of Hogwarts. He could hardly be in trouble for being out after hours if he was escorted by a Prefect. For all anyone knew, she was just leading him back to the Gryffindor common room. His eyes searched hungrily around like an animal searching for prey, but only Lily would know the real identity. A part of him wondered why Ms. Valentine hadn’t come looking for him, but it was quickly wiped away by the rush of looking for her.