life blood || [OPEN]

Now that he was free to roam the streets, Rabastan was taking full advantage of the money he had stored away with careful attention not to lay a finger on Rodolphus' share. It's been a while since he's seen or talked, and hasn't even received a letter while he was away. Not that it helped that the ministry cut off all conversation and he hasn't exactly grown the balls to talk to Integra about what happened. If she moved on that would be fine, he wouldn't be hurt in the slightest and it would just stay that way. He's lived without her, lived with a hatred for her, lived to love her and now he was without her again. Hopefully the cycle wouldn't repeat itself. Slowly his fingers rose and fell over his left forearm as it started to burn and slowly fade, but he was too focused on the potion ingredients before him.

Lifting a bottle of dried mint leaves and inspecting the quality, Rabastan was certain that he could find a better specimen elsewhere. Too bad it was February and anything trying to grow outside now would just get covered in frost. Snow still was settling on the little house he had managed to acquire in Hogsmeade through renting, since it was cheaper than renting a room out of the Hogshead. Between trying to get his potion stores up to date and finding a house, which he did put an offer in for one in Iverness, Scotland. Grabbing a few common ingredients that weren't able to grow in such a harsh climate and paying for them, the former Slytherin made his way out into the streets of Diagon Alley.

Rabastan stowed the ingredients away in his bag and attempted to make his escape to Knockturn Alley, in order to gain a few not so smiled upon items. That was when it hit him, quite literally. Delicate hands pressed against his chest as he took a step back. Instantly he found himself reaching out and balancing both parties. After stabilizing himself and the brightly red haired woman he rose an eyebrow. "My apologies. Are you alright?" A strand of black hair fell from the knot at the base of his neck directly over his vibrant green eyes.

Certainly he knew her face considering anyone who read the Daily Prophet knew her face. Raven Monroe. She was the hottest thing in gossip for as long as he even considered the Daily Prophet a reasonable place to gather information. Not to mention he had already read today's paper.

Slowly her hand reached up and brushed across his cheek. Usually Rabastan would have backed away, but after everything that had happened he was used to standing naked before a guard. He had to bare everything. Dark Mark and all. Of course that didn't make it into the papers, it was mostly speculation and there were hardly any solid facts. "It's quite alright. Seems we're both at fault are we not?" Anyone who didn't know who Raven Monroe was had to of been a complete idiot. She was beautiful, but Rabastan would rather settle down with someone a little more low key.

It was obvious that she knew who he was, who didn't after the trial? "It has, hasn't it. During the Wizard's Cup I believe." Still a bandage lay over a cut he was treating on his cheek, but he had ignored it mostly through the day. Suddenly he found himself very self conscious. Nodding quietly as she introduced herself, Rabastan smiled not having any need to repeat his name over.

Hands falling to his sides, right arm much slower and stiffer than the other, Rabastan took in a deep breath. Azkaban did do a number on him. The food was outrageously disgusting and the water was on the edge of unsanitary. "That's unfortunate isn't it? Seems I'm all the rage nowadays anyway. And breaking out isn't exactly the most difficult feat I've accomplished." A light chuckle escaped from his lips as he looked her on. She was a gossip columnist after all, and sure a lot of people would want the nitty-gritty.

"Want to go snag a drink? I could use a break from restocking my cabinets and company seems to be hard to come by lately." It was the least he could do for the woman. Facial expressions were a thing of the past, and he learned that anyone could read them and certainly that would give them information. Except for a smile, he wasn't above kindness lately and he wasn't worried about his reputation, especially since it was already tarnished.

Rab fixed the bag on his shoulder and nodded down the alley. "Come on, I need some gin and perhaps a secondary opinion."

She was hooked. That much was certain and Rabastan didn't want anyone else to run the story. Sure it sounded selfish, but Raven had a way with words and could make anyone believe anything. Rab also had that gift, but it was represented in vocalization and gestures. He could get anyone on his side if he needed and he would if he had to. Persuasion. Foreshadowing. He could give information away without the other party knowing exactly what he meant and he used it to his advantage.

What was his most difficult feat? A smile spread across his lips as he looked down at her. Not at all in a condescending way. "My father." It was so simple and yet the line held so much truth it was disgusting. He had planned something very similar to what he was accused of. Apparently he was so convincing to the court system that he was able to keep the money he stole. Still his parents were left with nothing but a couple months of funds in order to keep their lives together until Rabastan could figure out what to do with them. He already had his plans.

"I'm pleased that I could have that much pull with someone who has a decent amount of power in our community." An almost convict. That actually had a decent sound to it, but what the world didn't know was that he was a convict, through and through. All the way to the core and once he had his way with his parents it might actually come to light. Rodolphus was too laid back to do anything. He was too caught up in emotion, and lately Rabastan had been lacking in that department.

Holding the door open for Raven as they came to the Copper Cauldron, Rabastan gave her a soft smile. Gin. It was the one thing that set him apart from a few of the others. They were all about the Whiskey, Rum and Vodka, but Rabastan loved Gin. Straight from the bottle. Perhaps it was that earthy taste that satisfied him. It seemed to grab hold of his soul and made him loosen up ever so slightly.

Rabastan leaned back in the disheveled booth with severe ease. It was like he was an entirely different person outside of the school. He didn't have to deal with the drama of day to day life and that was the reason he felt in his element. Especially here in the back room of the pub. "What would you like to know Ms. Monroe. I'm an open book, just be careful what you ask for."

There was no doubt in Rabastan's mind that Raven Monroe wanted all of the juicy details. The thought had rolled over his mind for a couple of days. What more was there to do than think about life while sitting in a cell in Azkaban. Especially surrounded by family members and those who would soon be family members. That was if the Marriage actually fell through.

Rab's eyebrow rose when she mentioned that he would be on the front page of the Daily Prophet and he smiled quietly. "That wouldn't be too different from the last few weeks now would it? Though perhaps it would be in a different light." Slowly Rabastan eyed her taking in everything he could figure out about her in just their quiet corner of the Copper Cauldron. He knew that she was more than ready to get the truth behind his actions, but Rab wasn't exactly ready to give out all of the information. Instead she would have to figure out what was a lie and what wasn't as he had his own ass to protect. Spouting out inaccuracies could land him more time in Azkaban, and he already managed to secure a position... in Azkaban. That and he had until the end of the school year to get his NEWTs, as a sixth year or he would be terminated.

"The beginning." It wasn't a question. Rabastan had far more important things to do than talk with Raven about his mistakes, but he would give it to her. The thing with the younger Lestrange brother was that he would much rather see others succeed where he could not. If he could push them toward success he would and he has before on countless occasions. Sometimes they weren't so evident. Rab always made certain Rodolphus was taken care of, he would always be sure Integra was taken care of as well even though they weren't exactly on the fondest of terms currently. Raven, she would get her story and she would get it published. Perhaps he didn't want to be in the lime light, but she needed this and he could read it on her face.

After her next demand Rabastan stoked his stubble and looked her over again. "The night the authorities came. Actually it was an authority, just one. Integra Echoes and I were just lounging around reading in all truth. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on at the time when Mrs. Giovanni came down to the Slytherin dungeons. To be honest I don't think anyone knew what was going on, but once she announced that it was me she was after on ministry business I had no qualms against her, didn't struggle and didn't question." Rab licked his lips and took another sip from his gin. "It would have been pointless to go against a Giovanni, but she kept saying she was sorry over and over. That was what confused me. I admitted my guilt in front of her. Flat out. I told her that I did it and that this was my repercussion. She didn't buy it."

Letting his eyes linger over her face for a moment, Rabastan continued with his story. "So she took me to Azkaban and I lost my sanity." Slowly Rabastan fingered the rim of his glace and looked back at Raven. "They're not lying when they say Azkaban is a mad house, so I must definitely be messed up to take a job there after my release." A light chuckle escaped from his lips and he smiled. "I could tell you about how I felt like I was rotting away, but that would be the same story from every prisoner. I kept as much of my sanity by writing about how I was losing it. Surprisingly it helped, that was until the ministry cut off my communication with everyone. Only recently did I find out that they were blocking any form of contact. Mail was returned to their senders, and I just kept everything I wrote. Sadly during that time, Integra left me, Rodolphus, from what I understand never wrote and I was left to my own thoughts. Certainly that would drive someone insane."

Taking in a deep breath he thought about what actually happened and he shook his head. "It doesn't help that I've been a sufferer of OCD for many years. There is only so much you can do in a cell. I remembered everyday that I would count and size the straw that would find it's way into my area. Sometimes there was more, sometimes there was less. You've got to keep yourself busy."

Raven was busy at work jotting down a lot of the information he was feeding her. It didn't come as a surprise to him in the slightest, she was a star gossip columnist, so he had to tread carefully and mull over his every word to her. That wasn't difficult when you had all the time in the world to think. Why did they cut off the communication? He knew why. "Why else but to diminish the chain and connection I had with my peers? If you were working in a position that required information for evidence, wouldn't you want to keep it a secret? You wouldn't want people knowing your case, or story, before it was published. I think it was more to prevent getting anyone else involved. There are sacrifices that we must make in order to protect ourselves and our loved ones from the damages we caused in the world. It was a brutal break, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. You get the feeling that no one cares, and to top it off with the dementors it just worsens that feeling of abandonment and there is nothing you can do because you're stuck behind bars."

Azkaban was a rotten place. Everyone heard the stories, few lived through them and some were still living through them. It's even harder when everyone knows your name, your face, your family. A smile curled up onto the corners of his lips and he took another drink of the gin before him. "Maybe I'm more insane than I thought." that wasn't it though. "As much as they say it's a bad place, I needed a job and what better position for a student that excelled in the art of potion making? Now I have the freedom to concoct anything I wish. I can create, perfect and even improve on potions we once thought were fantastic. There are an abundance of test subjects nobody is going to miss, some given life for crimes I even find heinous. Certainly there is a bit of glee to be found in the job. Either that or I've gone batshit crazy and love to surround myself with the darkness, cold and howling cries of men."

Rabastan couldn't help but chuckle. Now that he was thinking more clearly than before with a drink in hand, he had come to grips with his emotions. For the most part. Maybe the recent loss of his father set him on a level playing ground. He has been through hell and back in the last week. Especially dealing with a death eater in Hogsmeade releasing the Morsmorde so close to the school, his father throwing the both of them over the railing into the entrance way of his childhood home and with the ministry watching his every move like a hawk. He had to be careful.

There was a reason why Rabastan held such a pull within his group of friends. In order to practice the art of persuasion you have to be an eloquent speaker. One must think before they speak, before they act, before they do anything that could impact another. What the world didn't see was the fact that Rabastan was selfless. In an instant he would give up his freedom for his friends. He would give his life in an instant if that meant someone would live a long and fulfilling line. Rabastan would also take life within a heartbeat. As much as he was selfless he was ruthless, there was a darkness inside of him that acted when triggered.

"I'll answer it, it's quite alright. Honestly. I've been a friend with loneliness longer in my life than I had been while I did my stint in Azkaban. Both of my parents would have been more apt to talk about Rodolphus before myself. Even at parties he was the prized son, their glory. I once believed that he held some sort of social quality about him, but I was wrong. As for everyone living on without me, it was a fact that I've grown to embrace. I did my job so that they could have that, the freedom of life I suppose." Rabastan didn't want to make it sound like he was a martyr or as though he was preaching. Lifting the glass rim to his lips and polishing off the gin he smiled across the table to Raven. She was lovely, very insightful and the like. Her questions held meaning behind each word and soon he felt a change in emotion. This wasn't just gossip anymore.

Lifting his hand and calling over the bartender ordering another gin, all he could do was grin. The last few days have felt ridiculously good. Release from Azkaban, the death of his father, even the separation from Integra and Rodolphus. It all felt like a dream and finally he was able to breath. "I try not to make myself out as a martyr or to prove myself better than my older brother, but he lacks qualities of a leader. He's never wanted it and I spent my entire life making sure he had it easy. A load of shit that was when he throws it all back into my face." A chuckle escaped his lips for a moment, and soon a full glass was set down in front of him.

Talk turned to school. Rabastan rose his eyebrow quietly. "I've thought about requesting an appeal against the ministry's decision for my expulsion, but I was given a different option. NEWTs aren't until seventh year, but in order to be a potions master I have to score highest in herbalism and potion making. That's even to be considered. So I will be taking the NEWT exams this year at the Ministry of Magic, and then I will technically be a graduate from Hogwarts in my sixth year." Azkaban wasn't as bad as it seemed from an outsiders view, but having once been locked up behind the bars he couldn't say the same. There was a feeling of glory that came from being released. Testing on prisoners. "If the occasion arises and I'm qualified enough, I'd like Horus Slughorn's position. He's a fantastic educator, has literally taught me everything I know, and more. It would be nice to make a difference in a child's life giving them that security of an instructor who cares. Perhaps I'm more fatherly than I thought I was."