A Match Into Water // Severus

One moment, Lily had been utterly consumed by the daunting feats accomplished by Asmundr and his order, and in the next, she was involuntarily propelled back to reality by a frantic commotion. She hadn't even heard footsteps within the vicinity, suggesting that she had once more been so intrigued in her literature that she had failed to pay attention to her current surroundings. That was but one of many on an ever-expanding list of the faults of Lillian Delilah Evans. It seemed at this rate, she added a new flaw to this catalog of calamity on a consistently daily basis. In case anyone were to inquire on the matter, the "list" was a real, physical object, easily exhausting more than 15 pages in her clever little journal.

Instead of immediately transferring her attention to this intruding party, she opted to finish just one final paragraph before replacing her aging bookmark. Neither the voice or the dialogue registered within Lily's mind, as she had been completely immersed within her novel when this distraction had originally occurred. Slowly, Lily observed the lean form of the figure before her from the bottom up, starting at the tattered edges of a classic Hogwarts robe lined with slick emerald, the tell-tale sign of a Slytherin student. Suddenly, the normally level-headed Gryffindor felt overencumbered by her own breath, like the air building inside her would inevitably cause a spontaneous combustion of sorts. Her fingertips grew numb, as her vibrant green eyes continued their path until they landed on the pale flesh of Severus Snape. The weakness in her knees augmented and her head felt faint and dizzy, but she was determined to not let this feeling overwhelm her entirety.

For the better part of a year, Lily had avoided her once beloved best friend like the plague he had begun to develop into. For years, he had been her rock, her truest and most loyal friend, the boy who pulled her from her boring existence and tapped into her magical potential, abolishing her lifeless pre-existence and rendering her a witch for eternity. There were several nights when Lily considered where exactly she would be, were it not for the little boy from Spinner's End who hinted at her developing abilities. She shuddered inwardly, it was a thought she cared not to endure this evening, for surely her migraine would be vast enough after this confrontation, no need to salt the wounds. Severus had been her confidant, her console, her reprieve from school, and family, her retreat from her own self-loathing. But no more- regardless of what he had once been, what he had once meant to her, that boy no longer existed. The memory of their final dispute had jarred her, scaring her very heart and soul, tainting her views on humanity- but above all else, destroying her kinship with Snape. She would not forgive his demoralizing, insensitive outburst. Not because she cared too deeply of her blood status, or his hateful ridicule, no. She would not forgive him because his behavior had come to be a representation of his internal struggles, his desire for power and his thirst for acceptance. If he needed so badly to be welcomed by the Pureblood Elitist who ran rampant in the dungeons, he could enjoy such lavish living. She would not condone such a mockery of existence.

Her expression grew stoic, the usual twinkle of her eyes evaporated, and left two hollow, hardened shells of jade in its place. She would never forgive, she would never forget. She must remain loyal to herself. Clearing her voice, she kept a calm and even tone to her words, "Something I can help you with, Severus?".

Her pale white skin had already become flushed with a signature deep pink hue, it happened every time she was uncomfortable or frustrated. Right now, she wished for nothing more than to be absolutely anywhere other than here. The normally comforting nook- with it's deep velvet cushions that she sank down low into-now felt instead like a suffocating prison cell. This was quite possibly the first time Lily Evans had ever desired to leave a library, and she hoped it would be the very last as well. She even felt the slick sign of moisture developing on the palms of her hands, an unusual sign of nerves for her to display. Lily shifted in her seat, brining herself to a more up right position, as before she had been reclining, relaxing. Her eyes sought anything to avoid direct contact with his onyx ones, an uncharacteristic reaction for the Gryffindor who preferred to face challenges head on. Inhaling a deep breath of courage, she turned her gaze towards his face, conquering her inner cowardice in favor of a brave, perhaps even nonchalant demeanor. She would not show weakness, she could not have weakness, not now.

The accusations began to fly, and she swore that with every single word that came pouring out of his mouth, she felt a knife twisting into her heart, a little harder, a little deeper with each passing allegation. This wasn't really, this wasn't really happening at all- she must have simply fallen into a deep, stress induced slumber. Yes, and any minute the kindly librarian would come and shake her ever-so-tenderly, and she would pat her back with all the good will of a grandmother and send her on her way to bed. Except, Lily knew that wouldn't happen, not really. This was not, in fact, her conscious playing out an overdue confrontation for the up-teenth time, not an illusion. This was very real- Severus stood before her, an honest to goodness physical being, for the first time in what felt like a millennia- though it had actually only been just shy of a year. Was time standing still? Every single second seemed to ooze by with the long, dull ache of an hour instead. She was frustrated- she could tell by the length of time that passed between his initial greeting and his response to her inquiry. Severus was too quick witted for that kind of stagnant energy, he usually preferred to strike while the iron was hot. Then again, maybe Lily didn't real know all that much about him, at least not anymore.

He was bitter, she didn't know if he meant it or not, but the words seemed to drip from his mouth like thick, viscous acid, resentment riddled within every syllable. Good. Let him be astringent, and feel betrayed by her. After all, that's how she had been feeling for all this time- like she was bleeding out on the floor of the Great Hall and he had backed away as to not muck up his shoes, instead of helping her. A fire burned in the pit of her belly, and her vision blurred for a few fractions of a section. Had she forgotten? Had it meant nothing at all? What ridiculous assumptions, made out of fear and seal-loathing. She could contain herself no longer, with a rush of raw adrenaline her vehement speech burst through her lips. "How dare you address me after all this time, after all the difficulty you have caused? An accusation from you, of all possible individuals." she snarled with the sort of animosity that can only come from a battered soul. "Yes, a charity case- that's what you were, right. You were my BEST FRIENDS, my ONLY true companion- and as if you really need reminding, you were the one who betrayed me. You were the one who abandoned our friendship in favor of gaining acceptance by the ridiculous pureblood elitist who plague the halls of Hogwarts, acting like the world owes them obedience." She felt tears begging for release, building pressure behind her sore eye sockets, but she would not let them fall. "And as if it even matters, yes, I hate you. I hate everything you have become, and everything you will grow to be. But our friendship was my life line, I needed it like I need air in my lungs. I suppose I should thank you for proving to me that I am strong enough to survive on my own."